Take Off Your Pants and Jacket
by sweetheart-bitterheart
Summary: Dasey drabbles based after Blink-182's album Take Off Your Pants and Jacket.


**Author's Note:** So here is my drabble thing that goes along with Blink-182's album _Take Off Your Pants and Jacket_. These ones took me much longer to write. Enjoy. R&R, please!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.

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_**Anthem Pt. 2**_

_We need guidance, we've been misled  
Young and hostile, but not stupid_

They have been yelling at each other for almost an hour now.

Casey is red in the face and Derek is spitting out words faster than he's thinking them up.

He's angry but she's angrier. She's quick but he's quicker. He's a wise ass but she's the real clever one.

They try to cancel the other one out. They try to be equals. They try absolutely everything and anything. The real kicker is that they _try_. They actually try with each other. They give complete and total motivation and creativity to knock each other off balance.

They were obsessed with the each other. It was a simple matter of fact. Because why would a slacker, skirt-chasing jock throw whatever brain cells he actually has into pranking his step-sister almost every day? And why would a theater-loving, straight-A model student fixate on anything her step-brother did?

They were young but they weren't completely stupid.

*

_**Online Songs**_

_Why do you still keep it around when you know it brings me down?  
I'm hating everything  
And I know that you dated other guys  
But I got to wonder why you'd leave it out for me_

Casey makes an offhanded Truman comment when they're driving back home on winter break. Derek grits his teeth and makes Trollman jokes for ten minutes until she swats his chest and they share a laugh.

Later on the drive, she mentions how Noel's doing. He snaps at her; "_Why would I care how poetry nerd Noel is doing?_" She sinks back in her seat and pouts her for a half and hour. To stop her from sulking and glancing at him ever so often, he flips through his iPod until he finds the song. The tension evaporates from the car once the first few chords begin.

"I love this song!" She exclaims, sitting up in her seat.

He grunts in acknowledgment. "It's alright." She dances in her seat and soon enough he's laughing again.

They stop for gas and she decides she _must_ get a Red Bull so he pumps the gas, cursing her for making him pay. She returns, bearing many drinks and candies. He adds this to his list of reasons why she's crazy because they're _almost_ home, they don't need all that.

"That guy in there looked a lot Max," she says, opening the door to the passenger's side, "I ducked behind the magazine's rack for three minutes until I saw it really wasn't him."

He nods, finishing with the pump and going to get in his side of the car.

When they're almost home, she asks him how Sam's doing since they haven't talked in a while. He answers, giving the basic, minimal facts about his best friend. She smiles at some things he says and it takes him a minute to realize that she's smiling about Sam, not him.

They park inside the garage and suddenly he's angry; angrier than he's been in a while. He gets out before her and slams his door. She stumbles out of the car and he stands firmly in front of the garage door.

She gives him a quizzical look and opens her mouth to yell at him. He covers her mouth with his own before she can even form a word. She clings to him and he realizes that this is what he's wanted.

They pull away to breathe and snow is falling outside.

"Were you jealous?" She asks, a little smug yet a little embarrassed.

"Very," he says honestly and pulls her inside.

*

_**First Date**_

_I'm jealous of everybody in the room  
Please don't look at me with those eyes  
Please don't hint that you're capable of lies_

It's officially their first date. He takes her to his friend's party way across campus. She doesn't complain. She doesn't want to ruin the moment.

At first, he doesn't leave her side. He keeps eye contact, holds her hand, gets her a drink. It's surprisingly nice and so un-Derek-like. She's the center of his attention tonight.

Slowly and certainly, he drifts off to his other friends and she's left with some drunken girls and some not-drunk girls but they keep giving her the stink eye. She knows that kind of jealousy all too well.

Still, she watches Derek work the room. He glances over at her from time to time and it makes her blush and want to throw something at him. He points at her too and she just wants to hide. She's getting fed up and restless and soon enough she just walks over to him.

"So, Derek…" she says quietly, "I think I'm gonna go."

The disappointment on his face isn't covered up as quickly and she notices but it doesn't completely faze her either. She feels a little foolish. "Case," he breathes. He grabs her hands and leads her into the kitchen where it's mostly empty. He stares at his watch before saying, "28 minutes and 19 seconds."

"What are you talking about?" She asks, getting nervous.

"It took you 28 minutes and 19 seconds to come over to me and say you were going to leave," he says matter-of-factly.

"Why were you timing me?" She's angry and he just smirks.

"To test… _this_…" He throws his arms around, gesturing towards them. "To see if you were really in it and not just buying time until your Prince Charming came along."

She tilts her head to the side, "So if I just left after a five minutes without talking to you that would have been bad," he nods, "And if I waited any longer, what would that mean?"

"That would mean that I could make you do anything," he's still smirking. First, she hits him then she kisses him.

*

_**Happy Holidays, You Bastard**_

_It's Christmas Eve and I've only wrapped two fucking presents_

Casey's laughter completely ruins whatever motivation Derek has left to go on with.

It's Christmas Eve and he's only wrapped two presents. _Two fucking presents_.

He is lagging behind this year, what with university, girls, work, friends, girls.

Casey finds it utterly amusing. She sits on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn, just watching him wrap presents. She makes comments every now and then but mostly she just laughs at him.

Finally, Derek can't take it anymore.

"I will give you twenty dollars to finish wrapping these for me," he propositions her.

"Not a chance in hell," she smirks, "This is fun."

"Yes, I can tell," he says, "The popcorn is a bit much. Overemphasizes the scene."

Casey just ignores him and pops a piece of popcorn in her mouth, "Mmm, salty."

Derek groans loudly and throws a roll of wrapping paper on the floor, "You're killing me. Thirty dollars."

"Sucker," she sneers. Suddenly, Derek is right in front of her, glaring and smirking all the same, and he's trying to grab the bowl of popcorn away from her. She pulls harder and she has faster reflexes than him so she wins. But there is popcorn everywhere, mostly in Derek's direction.

"There's butter in my eye!" He yells at her, trying to wipe the slippery stuff from his eyelid.

"Serves you right," she gestures towards the bowl, "Mine."

"You're evil," he decides, "It's a wonder you're even allowed to celebrate Christmas without getting struck by lightning." Casey just laughs at him again. He's still glaring at her until he sighs heavily, giving in, "Fifty dollars."

She smiles and he hates the fact that it does _something_ to his stomach.

"Okay, but we do it together," she says and gets up to help him.

*

_**Story of a Lonely Guy**_

_It's dumb to ask, cool to ignore  
Girls possess me but they're never mine  
I made my entrance, avoided hazards  
Checked my engine, I fell behind  
_

He's in the grocery store. In the back aisle where all the girly stuff is. He's alone and that makes it worse somehow.

They put them right next to the condoms. The irony isn't lost on him but he can't find his voice to laugh right now. He picks up the cheapest one and then realizes that she hates anything generic so he puts those back.

It takes him 12 minutes to find the ones that might just work. He buys three of them just to be sure. She might laugh at him or be angry but still he – _they_ – need to be sure.

They only had sex once and now it's everything is just off-kilter. He wants to scream or blame her or punch something. But he finds his head again and realizes it's his fault too.

She'll be the best, perfect mother and he'll be the worst father possible. He won't care, he knows this now, he just won't care.

After he's paid, he makes his way over to the Prince. She sits in the passenger's side, all calm and composed. He wants to know what she's on and where he can get it. He pulls out the three pregnancies tests to gain her approval.

She smiles and it's the prettiest façade he's ever seen.

As they drive back to the house, his mind replays the night when they had sex.

_"Girls possess me but they're, uh, never mine," he said._

_"That's sad," her sarcasm was perfect._

_"It really is," he joked along._

_"I was being sarcastic," she reminded him._

_"Really?" He smirked and the kiss made every other conversation worth it._

Until now.

*

_**The Rock Show**_

_I'm kinda nervous 'cause I think all her friends hate me  
She's the one, she'll always be there  
She took my hand and I made it I swear_

"I'm almost positive all your friends hate me," Derek says casually.

Casey narrows her eyes at him, "My friends are your friends too, you know."

"Not all of them," he argues even though it is a matter of fact. Casey shrugs and leans into him for a moment, desperate to get his mind off this thing and onto other, _better_ things.

"You're being paranoid," she tells him.

"Am I?" When one of her _acquaintances_ walks by them and purposely nudges him, he gives her a look, "Am I?"

She rolls her big blue eyes and he misses his point for a second. "Yes, you are." She grasps his hand and brings it to her lips, kissing the knuckles gently. She's trying to get the tension out of his body but it's not working (_for the most part, kind of_).

"I'm not being paranoid," he says defiantly though the true emotion is gone from his voice.

*

_**Stay Together for the Kids**_

_Their anger hurts my ears  
Been running strong for seven years  
Rather than fix the problems, they never solve them  
It makes no sense at all  
_

The Venturi household was full of noise. But not the pleasant kind; like laughter or friendly chatter. There was yelling, screaming, swearing, thing no thirteen year old should hear yet; especially coming from his parents.

Derek made himself comfortable at the top of the stairs. He put his hands on either side of face and leaned his elbow on his knees. He stared blankly ahead except when he closed his eyes due to the sudden noise from his mother's screech or something breaking.

He was happy he was the only one awake. Marti was a deep sleeper and Edwin either was one too or just preferred to stay in his room. Derek guessed he might be scared but he wouldn't check on him just yet. _He_ wasn't. He was the oldest and the bravest and knew how to handle the situation.

Or, at least, that's what he told himself.

*

Casey McDonald woke up to the sound of her mother's shouting voice. She was scared momentarily but it subsided when she heard her father shouting back. She hoped Lizzie wasn't hearing this but then again Lizzie heard a lot of things no one knew she did. She might handle the whole thing better than Casey does too.

For a while, she thought this was love. The screaming, the cruel comments, the avoidance then making up just to do it all over again. She believed, all in all, that her parents still loved each other. They fought all the time and it wasn't just bicker-argue-apologize. It was a full on knock-down-drag-out war. So slowly but surely, Casey made the realization that they most certainly didn't.

She was thirteen and knew far too much about relationships she didn't understand. She wasn't scared though. She could handle herself just fine.

Or, at least, that's what she told herself.

*

_**Rollercoaster**_

_Lay beside me and listen at the wall  
We'll keep on lying until the summer comes  
I had that dream about you again  
Where you drive my car right off the fucking cliff_

They are both sweating and panting, willing their breath to catch up with them.

The sheets have been knocked away and they have no need for pillows or covers anyway. She curls around his body, making sure it fits right in place. He responds by pulling her even closer. Molding their bodies together so not they can tell which one ends and the other begins.

They have so much to say but they don't talk much or try anyway. The words die on their tongues and their trains of thoughts shatter.

He closes his eyes, prepared for sleep, hoping to dream (_not of her, not again, ever_). But she hums and runs her long manicured nails along the peaks and valleys of his torso. He cracks one eye open and she smiles innocently at him. She has always been the best distraction.

She repositions herself above him and pins him below. Grinning like a Cheshire cat, from ear to ear, she leans down, kissing gently then carefully nibbling until she bites down hard on his collarbone.

He yelps out (_manly_) in pain and surprise. She giggles and slides off him and curls back against his side. After a minute, when they both quiet, she nuzzles his neck until he reluctantly nuzzles back.

"I would give anything in this world to hate you," he tells her.

"That's almost sweet," she smiles then sighs, "Me too."

*

_**Reckless Abandon**_

_I learned a lot today  
Not sure if I'll get laid  
Not sure if I'll fail or pass  
Kissed every girl in class_

"You better tell your friends not to speak again until they're sober," she scolds saucily. He rolls his eyes exaggeratedly so she pinches his arm.

"Ow!" He puts more space between them (_literally and figuratively_). She has still that stern look on her face. It's The Mom Look. No doubt, she'll use that on her kiddies some day.

Derek's hosting of the post-grad party has left Casey annoyed and on full control-freak mode.

"I thought we already went over this and I thought I won," he says.

"Yes, we did and no, you didn't," she purses her lips, glaring steadily at him.

"You still haven't learned anything from your years of living me, have you?" Derek asks, amused and self-satisfied. "I always win and I always will, Case."

"You know, your ego is almost as big as this house. It's quite amazing how you still manage to fit in here." She spoke fiercely and he pretended to act wounded; putting a hand over his heart and clutching it dramatically.

"You're an ass," she says.

"Thank you," he smirks then swiftly leans in and kisses her. Full on the lips. The action is done so quickly that by the time Casey registers what's happening, Derek has pulled back and is still smirking. "Now I've kissed every girl in our class. Damn, I'm awesome."

His eyes widen comically as Casey raises a hand and chases him all over the house, determined to get revenge.

*

_**Everytime I Look For You**_

_More time apart will give you  
A few more months to argue  
Is this to much to live through?_

He isn't mad. He isn't sad. He is comfortably numb.

She isn't mad. She isn't sad. She is uncomfortably numb.

Her anxieties scattered across the edges of her ideal state of mind.

It was his idea to take a break, separate, back up, think things through.

But, with them, every step they take carries them further away from each other and is a step they both feel compelled to take back.

They don't let themselves take any of them back.

*

_**Give Me One Good Reason**_

_So give me one good reason  
Why we need to be like them?_

People gossiped.

They stared, they laughed, they pointed fingers, they never did it subtly.

Derek ignored it. He always went about his way anyway. He never found a real reason to care. Casey pretended to be oblivious. She kept a smile on her face 24/7. She was the perfect embodiment of a people pleaser.

Casey stole kisses from him when she was positive no one was looking.

Derek stole them back when he was positive everyone was looking.

Because they don't know the half of it.

All Derek and Casey could do was laugh about it.

*

_**Shut Up**_

_You're always too loud, everything's too loud  
Now that all my friends left, this place is fucking dead_

"Shut the fuck up!" She screams so loud, to him, it seems like walls shake.

"I thought ladies didn't swear," he mocks her because it's easy.

"Shut up!" She's in his face, all anger and biting remarks. "Just shut up, Derek!"

Now that all his friends had gone, this place really did seem dead. He shakes those thoughts away and gets ready to take her down a few. Again.

"I swear, we're gonna end up like our parents one of these days!" Her comment is heard far too loud and clear.

That's all it takes from him to pounce on her and make her see his point of view. This is only way they can make up where they didn't have to be in a counselor's office.

Still, at the end of it all, they never really made up at all.

*

_**Please Take Me Home**_

_Buy hope, hope that it lasts  
Give in, forget the past  
Be strong when things fall apart  
Honest this breaks my heart_

"Why the hell did you do it, Derek?!" She's angry. She's always angry with him.

"I'm not gonna answer you so you can just stop asking now," he says nonchalantly, hiding his own embarrassment and anger.

"No!" She shouts. They're lucky that no one else is home at the moment because Casey's shouting sure would bring them a lot of attention. "Why, Derek? Why?"

"Are you rehearsing for some god awful play or something? Because these overdramatics are just that, overdramatic!" He shouts back with just as much force and passion.

They're standing in his room. Both with arms crossed over their chests. Both glaring at the other. Both waiting for the next move to be made but refusing to make it themselves.

"DE-REK!" Her screech hurts his ears but he doesn't wince or flinch. "Tell me why you told all the guys in our grade that I need to be sterilized before going out of the house _every single day_!" He looks away and she scowls. "Tell me why!"

"If you really have to ask, then you aren't worthy of knowing the answer," he barks back at her now perfectly scrunched up face. It's endearing but heartbreaking. He takes several steps forward until she's leaning away from him and nearly out into the hallway. "I did it because I love you."

The door slams in her face and she shudders against the noise.

*

_**Don't Tell Me That It's Over**_

_Screw with my head, never cave till they get their way  
Guys like to run, chicks like to yell, you see  
Guys hate to fight, girls think it's therapy_

"You were reading one of those magazine articles about how to improve your relationship, weren't you?" Derek asks, giving Casey the oddest look.

"It's a good way to test relationships!" She defends.

"To see who goes crazy first?!" He doesn't mean to shout but it happens anyway.

They stand across from each other with arms crossed over their chests.

"This is ridiculous," he says.

"No, it's not," she tells him, "We might be able to have a normal conversation after this."

"I highly doubt that," he disagrees and she grabs the vase that was on the end table and throws it at Derek's head. He ducks just in time and the vase smashes against the wall. The glass goes everywhere. "Okay, okay! Case, breathe!" He placates.

She rolls her eyes, "See? That is what our relationship is like. So will you please try what the article says? For me?" She pouts.

Derek stares at her long and hard. He's amused but also a little frightened. He watches as she bends down to pick up the shattered pieces of the vase. He bends down next to her and picks up some himself. She turns to him, giving him an adorably confused look.

"For you," he says, plain and simple.


End file.
